Overwhelmed..

I am sorry this post is a big fat bummer but I am seriously going out of my mind. Let me first just remind myself that I am so happy that my little babies are growing strong and kicking away. I know it will all be worth it in the end when I get to see their little faces, but right now I just need to vent.

I hate sleeping- it has become an olympic sport to sucessfully sleep more than 1-2 hours at a time.

I hate working because I just can not be the employee I used to be and give 110% even though everyone still expects it of me. I work in a small non-profit organization where mostly all of the responsibilities lie on my shoulders. Before, I would stay late just to be able to complete everything. Now, I am just too tired to deal with anything and work keeps piling up and I can't keep up which is stressing me out. And even with a woman coming in part-time to help me out, it is still not enough and the organization still looks to me to get everything done.

We are supposedly moving in a month and I can't even wrap my head around how, let alone unpacking and setting up a new home.
I just have too much on my plate right now, coupled with hormone overload and all I want to do is sit and cry. I am trying so hard to keep a positive and happy outlook but my head is exploding.

And.... my mom just called me to tell me that she may or may not have a tumor in her throat. Doctor needs to do a biopsy in a week. If it is a tumor, she will need surgery and radiation. If it is a cyst, she will need surgery. If its nothing, they will leave it alone.

Calgon, take me away.....

my first baby "purchase"

I belong to the Manhattan Twins Club and they send out daily emails on stuff to sell or looking to buy from other Moms. Yesterday, someone posted that she needs to get rid of her Double Snap N Go- basically it is a frame of a stroller and you snap in 2 car seats to become a twin stroller. It is not terribly expensive, but free is always a good price in my book. I should add- I am Jewish and am not having a shower because we believe it is superstitious to set up a nursey or buy things before the babies are born. I am fully behind that concept, however, I do believe that getting basic stuff that you will need from day 1 is not being superstitious, it is being smart. And again, did I mention that the stroller was free? :)

So we went to the Mom's house and picked up our new stroller. When we walked in, her 2 little twins were playing on the carpet- they had so much stuff! bumbo seats, bouncy seats, exercauser, plush blocks, books, ... And then I saw the gallon trash bag filled with diapers- she told me it was just from this week.

But, they were so cute-they smiled and kicked their little legs and babbled. I can not believe that will be my life in a few months (god willing). We folded the stroller and left it in the trunk of our car. It felt so weird and surreal to have it there and definiately did not feel like it belonged to us. But it is our first thing we now own for our babies.. Wow. Ok, breathe...

party all night, sleep all day..

My little twinkies take after me, in my lazy pre-pregnancy, bachlorette days. They love the nightlife- as soon as I settle down and am just about ready to sleep, they start kicking up a storm. The other night it felt like a fist was coming through my belly. During the day, they kick but not as frequently. I dont mind- its so cute.

In other news, we put an offer down for an apartment. I am so excited! The apartment is in my old neighborhood. I already know 2 twin moms who live closeby and another good friend who has 2 kids also lives close by. The most exciting thing about the apartment is that it is 1/2 a block from Riverside park and 4 blocks from Central Park. I can not wait to take lots of walks with the babies. I LOVED these parks. I used to bike, jog, meet friends- so many memories. I can't believe it's been 5 years since I left the neighborhood and now I am coming back with 2 babies. Wow!

As far as my pregnancy, I am 26 weeks and thank god, babies are doing great. They are growing - my last appt. they were up to 1 lb, 6 oz. each. I am feeling good- tired a lot and still have heartburn but I am truly and sincerely happy. My husband and I are so excited for these little ones. I found a pediatrician and will have my first consultation in a month's time.

Tomorrow I go back to the doctor to check on growth and progress. I am almost in my third Trimester!